My card selection process is pretty simple - buy whatever has cats on it. For any occasion. BUT, for our first Valentine's Day as a married couple, I wanted to get one of those fancy-schmancy cards that say HUSBAND on it. There was only one card that fit both requirements but it wasn't suitable (see below). And pretty much the entire selection made the feminist side of my brain want to punch someone. Preferably of the male variety.
This is the one husband card that had cats. This card mentions PMS among a long list of things the female in the relationship does "wrong," along with shopping too much, nagging, and back-seat driving (although sometimes backseat driving is TOTALLY necessary, if you want to live and stuff).
This card alludes to something sexual but ends up being about laundry! Because laundry is a thing women do.
This card considers marriage a challenge.
This card mentions being a mom. NOPE.
I settled on a lovey-dovey card that I typically wouldn't buy but you card-writing jerks left me NO CHOICE. Is is possible to make a funny card without making marriage sound awful or without mentioning my ovaries? What happened to the days of simple cards with a picture of a kitty and the caption, "You're purrrrrrr-fect, Valentine!" I would SO buy that. Also, GET OFF MY LAWN.
Please tell me I'm not alone in this. Does Valentine's shopping make anyone else queasy?